Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's All In The Numbers

You know what today is, don't you? It's the seventeenth of January, 2012: 1/17/12. To be honest, the numerological significance of this date is lost on me, but it does seem like each new day comes as a fresh revelation as we approach Armageddon. All the signs point to it, starting with the world broadcast television premiere of "2012," starring John Cusack. It's almost like the very hip cousin of Fox TV, so hip that they can leave the "o" out of the middle of their name, is flaunting the eventual destruction of our earth for some basic cable ratings points. It seems like kind of poor planning, if Bolon Yokte K'uh happens to be a subscriber.
I'm not expecting the planet to disintegrate or collapse in on top of itself, necessitating the construction of giant space arks to take all the smart, photogenic people off to a distant planet. That didn't work too well for the folks on the Axiom, unless you count the cupcakes in a cup. But with all the unrest in this world, it's easy to feel the urge to flee. These are frantic times. It's bizarre to watch all the bloodletting within the Republican party even though they have to understand that even if they do manage to win the election they probably won't survive until Inauguration Day. Then there's always the looming specter of Tim Tebow dating Katy Perry. Who can doubt that the end is nigh?
Still, I think the most obvious sign of the coming apocalypse is this: Cable TV monolith Xfinity is proudly trumpeting its new customer service guarantee: They promise that they will be at your house to fix your connection on time, within a two hour window. Guaranteed. They'll give you twenty dollars off your next bill if they're not there. They're proud of this. They are advertising this as a good thing.
It's the end of the world.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Omg--T Tebow + Katy Perry. Why didn't I think of that? It's literally a match made in heaven!