Out here in the general public, we spend our time trying to answer life's most intriguing questions: Will Lindsay Lohan do hard time? Do Sasha and Malia get really get to enjoy themselves on vacation? Who are these people from the Jersey Shore, really? And better yet, why would anyone care? It's part of being "the public." We have a zeitgeist to maintain. The more speculation we can generate, the more fabulous the answers must surely be. More Twitter! More Facebook! More Attention!
Which brings me to today's contest: Who can survive longer under the harsh summer rays of our incessant gaze, Mel Gibson or British Petroleum? Mel has just recently been relieved of his personal representation, and BP has just engaged the services of one Raoul Duke for massaging the way we think and feel about their corporation. Keeping in mind that none of this is real, it is important for us to remain completely judgemental.
BP is a gigantic conglomerate with tentacles that stretch far beyond the scope and imaginations of most of us wage-earners. It is a great big target that will be as hard to bring down as Phillip Morris, at least until someone creates a fossil-fuel patch to help us manage our dependency on crude oil until we're really ready to quit. And they've been very apologetic, too.
Mel? Not so much. While he's not busy fouling thousands of miles of our coastline, he seems intent on generating a toxic amount of sludge of his very own. If the train wreck of his relationship continues to be broadcast, who will be left to believe that he knows "What Women Want." Or men. Or their house pets. At this point, if a director is looking to Mel to play against type they had better have a script that has him portraying a human being.
And so, the summer drags on and we wait to be shocked out of our months-long delirium by the outrageous behavior or scandal that will cause us to turn the page or switch the channel. Or run screaming out the door into the sunlight.