MEMO:

To: TJ
From: BF

Tommy - love the pages I've got so far, especially that whole "preamble" bit. I'll bet that will get George's pantaloons in a twist, especially that whole "repeated injuries and usurpations" thing. And how about, "We hold these truths to be self-evident," where do you come up with this stuff?
That does bring me to my fist note: "All men are created equal?" Have you taken a look around the room recently? You really think old Hawkins is fit to hold your quill, or that Paine fellow with his so-called "Common Sense?" Really. But I understand it's a sales job, after all, and if we really want the votes, we've got to appeal to the fly-over colonies.
Which brings me to my biggest concern. You keep talking about "the people" in here, and I can't help but think that sooner or later some servant or slave, or heaven forbid, woman will get a hold of this thing and start thinking it applies to them. Oh sure, the "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" is all well and good, but you start tossing around freedom and independence for everyone, and sooner or later we're going to have to deliver.
Don't get me wrong, I love your style: just the right amount of pomposity to make it clear that this common man idea thing really only applies to those of us who can read the thing in the first place. I think we're in pretty good shape as long as you don't start advocating for public education.
I guess the good thing about getting all inclusive there with "Men" is that we can probably count on all those farmers and tinsmiths to hop on their horses and grab a musket once the fertilizer hits the fan back in England. And hey, even if they do march on over here to put us back in our places, I've got a feeling we'll still end up pretty near the top of the heap anyway, am I right?
I've gotta run, I'm off to invent the Cheese steak. See you in the morning.
Revolutionarily yours,
Ben
July 3, 1776