The Governor Has Left The Building

I thought of Rod Blagojevich on Monday. Not because of his tireless efforts to bring about labor reform. Not because I was wondering if he had made any recent appearances as an Elvis impersonator. No, the former Illinois governor was on my mind because I was watching the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon, and Rod's last name sounds exactly like some of the nonsensical lunatic ravings of its host Jerry Lewis.
Imagine my surprise when I open the paper yesterday to see Mister Blagojevich and his hair back in the news. Even though his trial for racketeering and fraud is still nine months away, the governor past-tense is still busy preparing his defense. He told The Associated Press in a phone interview that he might even try to subpoena President Barack Obama as a witness at his trial. This may serve him better than the Fabio impersonator he has been hanging around with, but it is doubtful that the court would compel the president to testify. He just wants to set the record straight, and let justice prevail.
According to prosecutors, the FBI secretly recorded Blagojevich last November saying he wanted something in exchange for the Senate seat that was being vacated after Obama's election. "I've got this thing and it's (deleted) golden, and uh, uh, I'm just not giving it up for (deleted) nothing," he is quoted as saying. He was later recorded saying "I want to make money" off the seat, prosecutors said.
Blagojevich claims that he was taken out of context. Perhaps when he said that he wanted to "make money" off the Senate seat, he was actually trying to create a fund for nuns and orphans. Or public health care. Or a job-stimulus package for Illinois. Or maybe he just needed a new jumpsuit. Those things are expensive!