On A Long Enough Timeline...

If you're tired of worrying about war, the collapse of our economy, public education, home-grown terrorists, illegal immigration, drug trafficking, escalators, or killer bees, why not set your sights on something a little more dramatic: astronomers predict a possible collision between Earth and Venus. Now that's something to worry about.
Of course, the fine print includes the time frame of three and a half billion years from now, but the point is still this: It could happen. A force known as "orbital chaos" may cause our Solar System to go "haywire," leading to the potential collision. Astronomers are funny that way. They tend to view things on galactic terms, and a billion years may seem like a lot to me and you, but for them, well it's just a billion years. And these things that seem somewhat catastrophic to you and me are events of great interest to people who study such things. "There is one scenario in which Mars passes very close to Earth," four hundred and ninety-three miles to be exact, said French researcher Jacques Laskar, barely able to control his astrophysics glee. That's the part where the planets rip apart and all the life on this one ends. It will be pretty cool to see, I suppose. But why wait billions of years to find out?
Back in 1933, Philip Wylie and Edwin Balmer wrote a book called "When Worlds Collide." Their version of planetary Armageddon allowed a ray of hope: Scientists arranged for pilgrims to hop off the Earth in time to skip on over to another rouge planet that came in right behind the one that crushed ours. It was interesting enough to be made into a film in 1951, and a remake scheduled for sometime next year. So, I'm guessing that maybe those astronomers could have saved a few bucks by reading a pulp novel or two, or just hanging around the video store. I suppose next they'll be telling us about a future in which global warming and overpopulation lead to depleted resources, which in turn leads to widespread unemployment and poverty. Hey guys, let me clue you in ahead of time: Soylent Green is people.