Rocket Science

The first thing I noticed was that his name was misspelled: "Rick Rossner, World's Smartest Man." Domino's is using him to sell their new oven baked sandwiches, pointing out that his I.Q. is twice that of your average fifth grader, a ratio of two to one. That ratio is the same as that by which Domino's is preferred over Subway. Rick is a genius, and it shouldn't take a genius to show off that bit of math. Given the fact that the ad points out that Rick's I.Q. is two hundred, maybe it's really him that is using Domino's.
His "real name" is Rick Rosner. He went to the same high school I did. He was a couple years ahead of me, and in that regard always seemed a little smarter, cooler, and together than I did as a sophomore. Again, it wouldn't take a genius to figure that out. Once Rick got out of high school, he used his giant brain to figure out how to get back in. He applied his dazzling intellect to determine the "best way" to go through high school: Be cool, be popular, all that important stuff. He worked at his dream for another ten years, off and on, while he worked as a stripper, a bouncer, and other enterprises that emphasized brawn over brain. He became a local celebrity as a result of these and other hi jinks, and eventually he took his show on the road.
When he was no longer able to pass for a teenager, Rick tried his hand at writing for TV. Somewhere in there, he decided that he wanted to be a millionaire, so he asked Regis Philbin for help. Regis wasn't much help. Rick only made it to the sixteen thousand dollar level. He spent a few years arguing with the producers about the question that he missed. Now he's got this gig shilling oven-baked sandwiches for delivery. He hasn't found a cure for cancer, or discovered a grand unified field theory, even though at one point he claimed to be reading a book a day. Rick has found a way to keep his name and face in the world for the past thirty years.
Here's the thing: I'm no genius, but I do know that if you ask, the friendly folks at Subway will gladly toast your sandwich for you. I don't know what my I.Q. is, but I managed to get laid in high school, and I was in the marching band.