Be Sure To Wear Lots Of Flowers In Your Hair

Talk about your sore losers. Bill O'Reilly, chief spokesdroid for the Majority Of Conservative Americans, just doesn't seem very comfortable at all as the Secular Progressives begin to assert themselves and ascend to the throne. No wonder Bill felt the need to lash out, once again, at the center of all things evil and wrong in his tiny little mind: San Francisco.
Bill sent one of his producers, who had "never been to San Francisco," out to do a piece about just how far the New Left had taken the City By The Bay toward the Rapture. The two of them sat, after the three minute package of disjointed images and interviews, thoughtfully comparing New York City with Baghdad by the Bay. Both men seemed content with the assertion that, since Rudy Guliani cleaned up the streets, that they would feel much more comfortable wandering the streets of Manhattan after dark than going anywhere in the Bay Area after sunset. They didn't mention what a nice job Disney had done with Times Square, which is now a family destination not unlike the "New Las Vegas."
As for the "packs of homeless" choking the streets in San Francisco, that city's Homeless Coalition says that there are approximately thirty-five thousand people living on its streets. In New York City, the number is virtually the same. Of course, these numbers are merely facts compiled by concerned citizens who seek to help those less fortunate, and not a hodgepodge of images edited together to elicit a fear response. Bill O'Reilly once had this to say in response to a ballot measure passed by sixty percent of San Francisco voters urging public high schools and colleges to prohibit on-campus military recruiting: "Hey, you know, if you want to ban military recruiting, fine, but I'm not going to give you another nickel of federal money. You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead. And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'"
Well, on Election Day, as I watched the returns roll in, I knew that those fifty-five electoral votes for Barack Obama were just waiting for the clock to chime eight o'clock in California. All of those awful secular progressives breathed a sigh of relief, then they danced in the streets. And they didn't have to step over any drug addicts or TV hookers to do it.