Monday, October 15, 2007

I'll Dismember You

It's just about here. Halloween time is near. It's time to start carving up pumpkins and picking out costumes. At least twice a day now I have kids coming up and asking me, "What are you going to be for Halloween, Mister Caven?"
I tell them I am going to be something really scary: A fourth grade teacher. But that's not really scary, after all. Annoying, maybe, but not terrifying in the traditional sense of the word. For that, I ask you to listen to a story from our friends down south, Mexico way. Forensics experts said Monday that chunks of flesh found in the apartment of an aspiring horror novelist, Jose Luis Calva, were human, and that DNA tests were planned to confirm whether it came from the body of his girlfriend. Now that's what I call creepy.
Police said that a search uncovered an unfinished novel by Calva titled "Cannibalistic Instincts." One witness, whose name was withheld by officials, said Calva was fascinated by witchcraft and explicit and sadistic literature. Here's where it gets really nasty: A surviving girlfriend, whose name was withheld, told police that Calva was initially charming, winning her trust with poetry. But he soon turned jealous, controlling and obsessive, and once attempted suicide, the woman said. Isn't that always the way with those cannibals? Initially very charming, then they become, well, hungry I guess.


Anonymous said...

Did they find any fava beans and chianti?

Anonymous said...

Or raisins or mango chutney? Don't tell me there's nothing to eat in this house!