Way back in the day when I regularly attended football games at the University of Colorado, we used to flinch in anticipation of the perennial powerhouse from the plains, Nebraska. All too often the team and their crimson and cream fans came roaring into Boulder on a head of steam, and summarily squashed any hopes the Buffaloes had of winning what was (so many years ago) the Big Eight Conference Title. As fans of a team that routinely finished second, we were forced to rely on the only advantage we had left. As the last few seconds ticked off, we began to chant, "You have to go back to Lincoln, you have to go back to Lincoln!"
This is kind of how it sounded when I heard that President Pinhead was "happy" to hear that Al Gore had won a Nobel Prize. Not that Mister Pointy Noggin made the call himself. White House spokesman Tony Fratto, said, "Of course he's happy for Vice President Gore and happy for the international panel on climate change scientists who also shared the peace prize." Of course he's happy. Why wouldn't he be happy? In spite of the fact that he is currently muddling through the death throes of an administration that may go down as one of the most ineffective and disrespected in modern history, he can still recognize good work when he sees it, can't he? As the man who rejected the 1997 Kyoto Protocol, a treaty that sets limits on industrial nations' greenhouse gas emissions, and instead favors voluntary targets to curb emissions, why wouldn't he be thrilled for Tipper's husband. While Al has been keeping busy hobnobbing with the stars and attending the Academy Awards, Pinhead has been hanging out with Alberto Gonzalez and watching video of his dad and Bill Clinton palling around on the golf course and at natural disasters across the globe. Of course he's "happy" for the Vice President.
But Al has to go back to Nashville... He has to go back to Nashville... But maybe that's not so bad after all.