Sunday, May 20, 2007

Background Music

Many years ago, before I lived in California, I had a therapist who suggested that I should spend more time "listening to the silence." At first this zen parable left me a little cold, especially since it would have meant leaving my Walkman at home when I went for a run. How did she expect me to get a decent workout without the aid of a good set of background music? After a few weeks of goading, I was convinced to give her notion a try. I remember being surprised by how often I noticed that I was breathing through my mouth instead of my nose. I remember the rhythm of my steps, and how hard it was to consciously change my pace without Bruce Springsteen or a suitable alternative urging me on. My therapist told me that these were important observations, on the way to becoming more centered. I didn't tell her that it felt like I was watching TV with the sound off - it didn't sound like something a "centered person" would say.
Yesterday I was forced into another such experiment because my iPod's battery had been ignored one too many days. I found myself running a capella once more. The difference this time was that I brought my dog along. I noticed that we both tended to breathe through our mouths, and it was still hard to pick up the pace without a soundtrack. It made me remember running in the Bolder Boulder, a very strict and orderly 10k race that forbids headphones. The difference there was that they had plenty of entertainment, both organized and free-form along the course to keep things interesting. I tried running the Bay to Breakers the first year I was out here, but it was too much of a circus - more of a parade than a race - and I was happy to get back to my own little rut, with all the tunes supplied by yours truly.
This morning I checked the battery before I laced up my shoes. I'm very interested in finding my center, but I can do that after I finish listening to some loud rock and roll.

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