Thursday, December 14, 2006

Girl Gone Wild

Let's take a break from trivial matters like war and education and family. Instead I would like to turn the spotlight of concern directly onto that which matters most: The conduct of current Miss USA, Tara Conner. For some time, rumors have been circulating regarding Ms. Conner's behavior in and around several New York City nightclubs. Those most excellent and hard-working reporters for have revealed that pageant officials expected to make "a big announcement Thursday."
If that announcement involves the lowering of the legal drinking age in New York State, then - as we say in Oakland - "it's all good." Tara is twenty years old, and while there are plenty of twenty year old girls falling off bar stools this very evening as they make the very best use of their older sister's ID, Tara ought not to be one of them. She is reigning royalty: Miss USA and the very embodiment of all things that suggests. Underage drinking, it seems, would not be part of that vision. Lark-Marie Anton, spokeswoman for the Miss Universe Organization, which produces the Miss USA pageant, said "Miss USA is considered a role model and must act accordingly." This lady's boss is Donald Trump, after all. We all know what happens when you disappoint "The Donald". In 2002, Russia's Oxana Fedorova won Miss Universe but was stripped of her title after violating her contract. "We had a Miss Universe from Russia that was a total disaster, and we fired her, and Miss Panama took over and she did great," Trump said.
Make no mistake, these women are "goal savvy" - as they are promoted on their web site. Many previous winners pursue careers in the entertainment industry. But unlike the Miss America pageant, there is no talent section at Miss USA. Ms. Connor may have missed her calling, if one considers "slamming Jello shots" a talent.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For heaven's sake, what's more American than underage drinking? Just ask the Bush girls!