Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Dinar

I once wrote this in a notebook during my mildly angsty high school years: "Progress - or what you notice you're not making." I thought of this little aphorism today as I read the headline, "President says Iraq progress too slow." Now that Pinhead has made it clear that we are staying until the mission is complete, I guess it's important for us to know what that mission might be.
In a conference today with Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim, prominent Shiite cleric, the Pinhead in charge said, "I told him that we're not satisfied with the pace of progress in Iraq, and that we want to continue to work with the sovereign government of Iraq." At this point, it should be noted that al-Hakim leads the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq, the largest Shiite bloc in Iraq's parliament. His party also is backed by the Badr Brigade militia blamed for sectarian killings. He lived in exile in Iran for years, and is considered by some a more powerful political figure than Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. This is one of the "good guys." Last week it was suggested that the cleric was expecting to try to persuade Bush to enlist Iran's help in quelling violence in Iraq.
Are you dizzy yet? Iran is going to help quell violence in Iraq, specifically that sectarian violence such as that engaged in by the Badr Brigade. I think the whole thing would be much easier if there was a series of trading cards with vital statistics, affiliations and alliances printed on the back. They could be marketed to kids as "Iraqemon" - and peace in the Middle East could be brokered by children in our nation's school yards.
Now that's what I call progress.