Special Widescreen Digitally Dismantled

It is May, right? So there's no chance of this being a clever bit of April Foolishness. It would seem that George Lucas is getting ready to release the original "Star Wars" on video. According to Variety, ""Star Wars," "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi" will each be released in two-disc versions containing the original theatrical version along with the 2004 digitally remastered version. "
Well how about that? This is the same guy who told the world a few months back that we were going to have to get used to the "special editions" (now with even more Ewoks!), so stop your whining! There must have been a disturbance in the Force, or a rip in the fabric of the universe, because once again the world awaits the video release of "Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope: They Can't Print Money Fast Enough For Me."
I have purchased "Star Wars '77" - "Star Wars Classic" - "American Graffiti With Light Sabers" no fewer than than three times: VHS, Laser Disc, and Special Edition DVD. I did the same thing with "Lord of the Rings" (all ninety-seven hours of it, eventually) and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." The notion of a "definitive edition" has long since passed. There is another permutation of deleted scenes, commentary or bonus material to jam into a double-disc, triple-disc, quadruple-disc, google-disc (highest number of discs before infinity).
Truth is, I'm fine with this repackaging. It's as American as Cap'n Crunch. The part that gripes me is the ultimatum, then relenting at the expense of a fanbase. When I worked at a video store, I remember sharing with customers who asked about "E.T." coming out on VHS this story: Steven Spielberg once watched a pair of grown men struggle with the weight and size of one thirty-five millimeter print of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." He was impressed with how much time and effort it took to get one movie into the projection booth. Supposedly, this is why he decided that he would never release his films on video tape.
"E.T." was rereleased in a "special edition" (that digitally left out the government agents' shotguns) in 2002. This is why they call it "show business." Coincidentally, this blog will soon be available in Dolby DTS with commentary by Jar-Jar Binks.