Every lunch rush I ever worked at Arby's had one of these:
"I'd like a Super Roast Beef sandwich, two orders of potato cakes, um, an apple turnover and a large diet Pepsi."
The idea that diet soda of any brand be sold in any size beyond medium is completely beyond me. If you drink enough of this stuff, you just start to waste away. I'm guessing that a few drops of appetite suppressant or syrup of ipecac would close the deal a little more effectively - just mix it in with the Splenda, caramel coloring, and fizzy water.
What got me going on this was McDonald's announcement on Wednesday that its fries contain a third more trans fats than it previously knew, citing results of a new testing method it began using in December. Paint my face red and call me Ronald. So many people have pointed out the hyper-irony of posting "nutritional information" inside a McDonald's restaurant, it hardly seems worth mentioning again. Still, the Golden Arches folks are starting to use new packaging for its menu items that contain facts about their nutritional content. You ought to know that your Big Mac has nearly half your daily allowance of fat before you start to inhale it.
Ever since Morgan Spurlock made us all sick with "Super Size Me" there hasn't been as much joy in every Happy Meal. It's probably worth noting that a thirty day diet of anything would probably bring on some disastrous gastronomic distress. I'm very sure that when I walk into the house that Mr. Kroc built, I'm not expecting to leave feeling "nourished." I want to be comforted. Friends of mine complain periodically about the burgers at McDonald's - as hamburgers they don't exactly stack up to the charcoal grilled epitome of hamburgerness. They are hamburgerish - created to evoke the sensation of food and provide inert bulk with few active ingredients. I'm not expecting to get healthy there - I'm expecting to get full. When I need to eat healthy, I'll stay home where we've got carrots, and raisins, and wheat germ, and bean sprouts, and carob chips, and mango chutney....