Friday, November 11, 2005

Dear God

I suppose I should be a little concerned. After yesterday's blog in which I poked fun at Intelligent Design and vowed allegiance (or amusement at the very least) to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I now feel a sense of dread looming on the horizon.
Pat Robertson is going to sick God on me.
I'm on that list right after the residents of Dover, Pennsylvania. "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club." Why? Because they chose to dump a school board that favored teaching intelligent design. God's little elf continued: "God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."
The cartoon that creates in my mind is almost too hysterical too imagine. What pictures dance in Pat Robertson's tiny head? That big white haired guy with the flowing beard and robes isn't Gandalf - or Dumbledore, and that speck crawling into the corner of His eye must be Chuck Darwin. "I'll show you 'Origin of the Species,'" growls an angry God as he pinches Darwin like a flea between his enormous fingers. "Please! I did not mean to offend!" squeals the twisting Evilutionist.
Near the end of his life, Darwin continued to give support to the local church and help with parish work, but on Sundays would go for a walk while his family attended church - possibly avoiding potential smiting for his beliefs. If disaster comes to Dover, do we have Darwin to blame? And if Dover is swallowed up and consumed in fire, am I next?

1 comment:

patty said...

On the one hand, Pat Robertson elevates God to being so awesome a higher power that God and only God is capable of creating our complex universe. On the other hand Robertson personifies this "tolerant,loving and all powerful" higher power by anthropomorphozing God as vengeful, petty, nasty, cruel and apt to hold a grudge.

I don't get it.