Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Going Pro

 "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

Those were the words of the late great Doctor Hunter S. Thompson. They can be found between the covers of his 1971 classic, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. The subtitle of this gonzo feast calls it "A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream." The past few months seem to have stirred up the spirit of Doctor Thompson, and last week's events most certainly did not put him to rest. 

Robert Kennedy Jr. dropped his own campaign for the White House, just a few days after everyone stopped making jokes about his own stirring account of toting a bear cub's carcass into Manhattan after a day of falconry. Then he was late for dinner, and had to catch a plane, so he left it in Central Park in such a way as to make it look like it had been hit by errant bicyclists. With a head full of ether and various other dangerous chemicals, this is not something Hunter Thompson concocted. This came from the mind of a recovering heroin addict who talks openly about the parasitic worm living inside his head. Bad craziness, indeed. Which may explain why he quit the presidential race, but it doesn't really make a lot of sense that he was welcomed with open arms into the campaign of (checks notes) the convicted felon and adjudicated rapist who struggles mightily with his own grip on reality on a daily basis.

This comes at a time when the felonious game show host's VP pick has only recently cleared the couch molesting scandal that plagued him for weeks, only to give us all yet another heaping helping of weird as he appeared in a Georgia donut shop. Julius Domingus Vance looked for all the world like an alien who had been dropped into Holt's Sweet Shop with only the vaguest of notions as to what "act normal" might mean. "The zoo is in town," he told the frightened help behind the counter. "I'll have some of those glazed, and and that stapler, and your severed hand..." Just another day in the completely not weird world of the Republican ticket. 

Over the weekend there was some speculation that the twice-impeached "very stable genius" might cut Julius Domingus loose in favor of his new pal RFK Jr. Then along comes the story of how "the bear guy" once chopped the head off a dead whale, strapped it to the roof of his car, and drove five hours back home with it. And his then six year old daughter, who is now sharing accounts of life with dad in hopes of deflecting some of the attention she may or may not be getting because she may or may not be palling around with Ben Affleck. 

So not weird. Right? But the genius of this maneuver may lie in the way that soon the felon who buried his ex-wife on his own golf course may be able to stand on a stage next to these clowns and appear "normal." 

Sure. 

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