Tuesday, April 30, 2024

On Message

 In 1952, the powers-that-be in the Republican Party created an experience on the newly minted form of social media called "television" in hopes of taking some of the heat off their presumptive vice-presidential candidate. This young senator from California had been accused of improprieties relating to a fund established by his backers to reimburse him for his political expenses. Six weeks before the general election, the Republican National Committee raised the unheard of sum for its time of seventy-five thousand dollars for the air time, and for a half an hour Richard Nixon poured his heart out to sixty million viewers. 

Young Dick spoke of his humble beginnings, and of his family making ends meet: "It isn't very much but Pat and I have the satisfaction that every dime that we've got is honestly ours. I should say this—that Pat doesn't have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat." As he was wrapping up the speech, he did acknowledge a gift from a supporter: "It was a little cocker spaniel dog in a crate that he'd sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl—Tricia, the six-year-old—named it Checkers. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it."

The "Checkers Speech" was enough to turn the tide, and Richard Nixon was swept into office with Dwight Eisenhower, setting the stage for what would become, twenty years later, one of the ugliest moments in American politics. 

Until now. 

While the former game show host trots between court appearances, golf dates and rallies to the faithful/deranged, he is on the lookout for a potential running-mate. One of those who have been mentioned on the orange one's short list is South Dakota's governor, Kristi Noem. If you're not as familiar with South Dakota's politics as maybe you should be, Ms. Noem is a firebrand in the MAGAt mold, endorsed by her twice-impeached mentor. She created a stir by being one of the few governors not to issue a statewide mandate requiring face masks in public during the height of the COVID outbreak. 

And now there's this: In her upcoming book, No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward, Governor Kristi spends several pages describing how she shot and killed her fourteen month old wirehair pointer named "Cricket." Apparently little Cricket wasn't the hunting companion that he was expected to be, preferring to chase and kill the neighbor's chickens instead of the pheasants he was supposed to be chasing and killing. Ms. Noem likened executing her canine to having the ability and willingness in politics to do anything “difficult, messy, and ugly.” It’s not the only animal she chose to sacrifice that day, she wrote: "​​I realized another unpleasant job needed to be done.” That's when she went out and killed the family goat, whom she deemed  “disgusting, musky, rancid,” and had a habit of knocking over her small children and making their clothes dirty. 

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen: The recent history of the Republican Party, from Checkers to Cricket. 

2 comments:

  1. The talk around my office is less about the depravity of the executions (which speaks for itself) and more about the deficient socialization and incredible lack of judgment required to brag about them publicly while campaigning for office.

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  2. Anonymous6:42 AM

    Good God.

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