Get That Cat Out Of The Cradle

 Miss Walsh's baby was born just a few hours after Miss Walsh made a very Miss Walsh-ish appearance at the school just to "drop a few copies off" in hopes of helping her substitute be just a little more prepared. This is precisely the odd level of dedication that we have come to expect from Miss Walsh. 

And once again I want to appreciate and validate her choice to take a year off to spend with her burgeoning family. They should not grow up wondering when mommy is coming home or just exactly who mommy is. 

Which got me to thinking about my own voyage through parenthood. I was there in the delivery room. I was there for the first three months of my son's life. Much to the periodic chagrin of the boy's mother. Then, just as abruptly as my life had changed in oh so many ways, I was dropped into my career as a teacher. My wife has described the post-partum terror of being left alone with this incipient human and how lonely she was trying to figure out how this thing worked. 

I already knew how I worked: nose to the grindstone. Dedicated and loyal. I was the breadwinner and though there wasn't a lot of bread to win back in those days, I wanted to provide in the way that I could. This included working year-round at my year-round school, becoming that mythic fixture of an employee about which stories have been written and songs have been sung. 

But I really wanted to be at home with my son. 

A fairly large conflict of interest there. 

As milestones and anecdotes stacked up, I continued to work and come home in time to spend as much of our child's waking hours as possible together. Which seemed like a lot at the time. But looking back I wish that it had been more. I benefit from a very close and forgiving relationship with my son, who found room in his heart to forgive my absences and allow me the opportunity to make up for those lost moments when our schedules permit it. The same can be said for the woman I left in a hostage crisis with a newborn. 

I am only now becoming clear about the regrets I stacked up back then. And I'm working on the forgiveness. From them and from me.