Not On My Playground

 If you're worried about how the rest of the guys are going to look at you if you back down from a fight, you've got bigger problems than the fight. 

On Tuesday morning, Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin said he was nobly representing his state's values by challenging Teamster boss Sean O'Brien to a fight. Not an online chatterfest or war of soundbites, but an actual physical altercation. In the chambers of the United States Senate. It began, as these things often do, when Sentator Mullin read a Tweet from O'Brien Mullin felt disparaged him: “Quit the tough guy act in these Senate hearings. You know where to find me. Any place, Anytime cowboy.” Mullin followed it up by saying, “This is a time, this is a place. We can be two consenting adults. We can finish it here.” “OK that’s fine, perfect,” O’Brien replied. “You wanna do it now?” Mullin said. “Would love to do it right now,” O’Brien replied. “Well stand your butt up then.” 

At this point, Mullin began to remove his wedding ring and rose to his feet. He needed to be restrained and then admonished by the committee's chair, Senator Bernie Sanders. “You know you’re a United States senator, act like it.” This show was enough to get Mister Mullin a guest shot on Sean Hannity's show, where the host praised Mullin’s actions, saying any other response would have been “gutless.” Which must have played well among Hannity's viewers, a man who described his hypothetical response to a mass shooting by touting his training in mixed martial arts. Senator Mullin is not just a United States senator, but a former and apparently not quite retired Mixed Martial Arts fighter. “What did people want me to do? If I didn’t do that, people in Oklahoma would be pretty upset at me.” He added: “I’m supposed to represent Oklahoma values.”

During a Veterans Day speech last Saturday, the former game show host and current Republican frontrunner for "president" called his political opponents and critics “vermin” and accused them of being a bigger threat to the U.S. than countries such as Russia, China, and North Korea. Historians and researchers were quick to warn that his language was reminiscent of authoritarian leaders including Hitler and Mussolini. The game show host's team's response to their candidate's oration? “Those who try to make that ridiculous assertion are clearly snowflakes grasping for anything because they are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome and their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House." 

Meanwhile, the man who once described what is best in life thus: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women," was last seen on a Monday Night Football broadcast, cooing and feeding his pet donkey Lulu. 

Things are not getting any less strange out there. Be safe.