Before It's Too Late

 A couple weeks ago, a fourteen year old New Jersey girl was found dead in her home. She took her own life just a few days after a video of her being attacked by a pack of girls from her high school was posted online. Not content to merely hit her in the head with a twenty ounce bottle, knock her to the ground where she was hit and kicked, the ugly event was recorded and played endlessly for the jackals who were pleased and happy to share their antics. 

In the wake of the victim's suicide, four girls have been arrested and charged with the attack. It should be noted that video concludes with adults intervening and separating the beasts from their prey. The day of the attack, the girls were suspended from school. The arrests came too late.

Too late for a lot of reasons. If police had been called right after the attack, the video might not have been posted. The exponential growth of humiliation occurred thanks to social media. And now the world wants to know why the school didn't do more.

I can tell you what I believe. I am a veteran educator, and though I have spent my career a few doors down from the middle schoolers and high schoolers who we hear about far too often these days, I can tag off on the fierce undercurrent of rage and violence that exists just below the surface of far too many of our kids' lives. Just the other day I had to step in when two second grade girls were locked in a struggle, each with a hand on the other's hair leaving the other hand free to swing wildly. Once they had been separated, I sat them down to try and figure out how this ferocious fracas began. As it turned out, it was because one of them had found a fake fingernail on the ground, and the other insisted that she give it back to a third girl to whom it had been intended. They were pummeling one another over a piece of acrylic that was no longer useful for its intended purpose. 

And though it took several minutes for the pair to calm down enough to discuss next steps, neither of them felt that what they had done warranted further discipline. The storm had passed and they were ready for lunch. What I felt was a lingering sense of shock, seeing these two eight year olds tearing into one another. Their classmates did not turn into the cheering mob that accompanies melees in fourth and fifth grade, but they didn't seem to be as shaken as I was. I knew that neither of these second grade girls was going to be suspended for their actions. Instead, their parents would be called and consequences would be doled out at school, where we have some control over their measure. 

I know that the older they get, the more difficult it will become to teach them empathy, which is what we hope to be able to do. Before they get to middle school. Before they get to high school. Before it's too late. Before their fights are posted on the Internet.