Normal?

 Okay folks, listen up: Now that the election is over and patient zero is about to be forcibly removed from the people's house, we can tell you what the Centers For Disease Control really wants.

Stay at home. We're having a global pandemic here. Skipping off to grandma's house or sneaking away to the beach isn't fooling anyone. Especially not a virus that has nothing but time. Time to wait. Time to kill. All those "necessary trips" to the mall turn out to be less necessary than you thought. The sale at Bed Bath And Beyond can wait.

Wear a mask. In spite of what you may have heard from "experts" who have been assuring you that your medical condition prohibits you from covering your mouth, it's a really good idea. Probably an even better idea for those "experts" who would be much better off with a covering over their mouths. Preferably duct tape. 

Nobody told COVID-19 that the election is over. Turns out this particular virus is bipartisan to the extreme. Oddly enough, it does seem to have an easier time getting to folks who flaunt the conventions suggested by real and true infectious disease experts. Thousands of motorcycle enthusiasts who descend on a little town in South Dakota, for instance. Or people who anxiously awaited the opening of their local gym only to find out that working out in a sweaty petri dish won't necessarily keep you healthy. Turns out these momentary "freedoms" are killing people. 

Which brings us around to the whole problem facing America when it comes to this pandemic: Viruses up and down the line have not read the Constitution of the United States. Go right ahead, if you must, and flaunt your freedom of assembly. Don't come whining to a bunch of scientists after you contract a highly contagious disease, however. Protests, rallies, dance parties, whatever, just assume that you've got coronavirus on the guest list as well if you're inviting anyone outside your own personal bubble. And that mask you should be wearing isn't there as much to protect you as it is those with whom you come into contact. Just another reminder: COVID-19 spreads predominantly through respiratory droplets “generated when people cough, sneeze, sing, talk, or breathe.” Masks help prevent infected people from spreading those droplets and also help keep healthy people from inhaling them.

Duh. 

And if it seems that after eight months of shelter in place and social distance and wearing a mask that you're tired of all these restrictions, tough. This is going to require sacrifice on everyone's part. This includes individuals with the last name Kardashian, Pence, and Trump. These people talk about "getting things back to normal" when they wouldn't know normal if it landed on their head and started to wiggle. You want normal? Be reasonable, and do your part. 

Now back to reruns of the Big Bang Theory.