Duck Days

On our honeymoon, my wife and I visited Orlando, Florida. While we were there, our attention was primarily on Disney World, as is our family custom. In order to facilitate park tickets, we wandered away from the Eye of the Mouse and headed off campus for a two hour timeshare presentation which guaranteed us passes to the Magic Kingdom if we managed to stay awake through their entire spiel. As we drove our rental car through the side streets just a mile or so away from Disney proper, we passed a steak house. In the middle of the day, in August, in Florida, a man was standing on the curb waving potential customers in by waving a sign at them advertising their T-Bone special. He was wearing a cow suit. In August. In the middle of the day. In Florida.
Blocks away, kids and adults alike were lining up for the opportunity to shake hands with people in animal suits. This guy was pretty much on his own out there. For all the water he was shedding, he was getting exactly no love. At this point I would love to tell you that we stopped the car and pulled in to the parking lot, if only to get a photo with this poor soul. We wouldn't have to try the T-Bone. We were on our way to free Disney tickets. We couldn't be stopped.
All of this comes flooding back each time I find myself in the presence of Mickey or any of his cartoon pals while visiting any Disney park. I don't think there is a region where putting a fifty pound animal head on top of a suit covered in feathers or fur would count as casual attire. Which is why I was relieved to discover that these folks are in a union. Pluto and Goofy are Teamsters. Unfair working conditions can be addressed as a group, rather than individually, and protection can be afforded those who cannot speak for themselves. Most of them just gesture wildly from inside their character cocoons.
That relief is tempered by recent news that in Florida Local 385 is unhappy with their leadership, claiming that they have created false records, embezzled funds and obstructed. Which may be fine for the current "president" of the United States, but Mickey Mouse won't stand for it. It's been twenty-six years since my wife and I encountered that wayward cartoon steer, but I hope that all our costumed friends will be cared for when new elections are held.
Happiest place on earth, indeed.