Worthless And Weak

Over? Did you say "over?" Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

This is just a sampling of the detritus that floats around my head on any given day. It is the stuff that sometimes substitutes for conversation between my wife and I, especially when National Lampoon's Animal House is on. It has been suggested, over the years, that I cannot actually speak. I am only parroting the lines from movies an comedy albums that I have encountered in my life: a constant stream of pop culture references.

I pledge allegiance to the frat...

Because that is the phrase that came so immediately to my narrow mind when I read the headline "

US Air National Guard member fired over woman who took enlistment oath with dinosaur puppet." Master Sergeant Robin Brown, a senior non-commissioned officer with the Air National Guard, was removed from her position at the Tennessee Joint Public Affairs Office after video circulated of her taking her enlistment oath with a Tyrannosaurus Rex puppet on her raised right hand. No, this is not a scene from Stripes, though it could be from the direct-to-video sequel that has yet to be made. Former Master Sergeant Brown can be seen in a widely circulated video solemnly swearing that she would support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” It was not immediately clear if she was speaking for the puppet, or if the dinosaur was there as some kind of moral support. No matter, since it was seen as making sport of God and Country, and Ms. Brown will no longer be supporting the Constitution nor defending it, at least from inside a set of snappy camouflage fatigues. The colonel, who gave the oath, while smirking, was forced to retire, and several disciplinary actions are underway. I guess some soldiers forgot they were on double secret probation. Or maybe these folks just haven't seen enough movies: Kelly's Heroes. MASH. Private Benjamin. Hot Shots (Parts One and Deux). Operation Petticoat. Good Morning Vietnam. Or maybe the brass was just worried that letting in a T-Rex was just a slippery slope that would put them in the position of having to allow trans-species volunteers of all sorts into the armed forces. Well, it's time that somebody put their foot down, and that foot is me.