Presidential

According to some,  it was “the greatest speech that was ever made to them.” In this case, "them" would be the Boy Scouts of America. And "some" would be our "President." If you asked the Boy Scouts, they would say the reaction to the speech was "mixed." If you asked the tangerine masquerading as our chief executive, he would tell you, “I’d be the first to admit mixed. I’m a guy that will tell you mixed. There was no mix there. That was a standing ovation from the time I walked out to the time I left, and for five minutes after I had already gone. There was no mix.”
This was a speech to a group of Scouts at their annual Jamboree that included  bragging about his election victory, slamming his former opponent Hillary Clinton as well his predecessor, former President Barack Obama, and repeatedly decrying the media for what he deemed unfair coverage. "Oh, and by the way guys, I've got a lot of experience with knots, if you know what I mean." 
Okay. That last bit was my own invention, but I don't suppose it really matters at this point, since invention is the way this administration gets through every hour of every day. Six months after the inauguration that was "“the largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period,” as announced by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer no longer has a job as White House Press Secretary. It would be ridiculous at this point to blame Sean. Or maybe not. He could have shrugged his shoulders at some point, and simply said what everyone else was thinking: "I don't know. He told me to come out here and tell you this stuff and we all know that it was not even remotely the case. Sorry." He stood at that podium and maintained his composure for moments at a time until that little vein in his forehead began to scream "aneurysm." That vein serves as the metaphorical Pinocchio's nose of the current regime. Now it's Sandra Huckabee Sanders' turn to brave the potential head implosion that comes with the job of standing in front of a group of eager questioners with nothing but alternative facts to defend. Endlessly. 
When the "President" got up in front of a group of police officers and encouraged them to rough up suspects, "He was just joking." When he stood in front of a group of supporters in Ohio and described the way gangs "take a young, beautiful girl, sixteen, fifteen, and others and they slice them and dice them with a knife because they want them to go through excruciating pain before they die, and these are the animals that we've been protecting for so long." Thanks for the visual, "Mister President." 
What's that? "With the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any president that's ever held this office."
Really? I guess I'll just let Communications Director Anthony "Will You Do The Fandango" Scaramucci handle it. 
Oh. Yeah. That's right. 
Never mind.