Existence and Pre-Existence

I have a confession to make: I have a pre-existing condition. Actually, I have a few of them. Most of you have already probably noticed my predilection toward sarcasm. And male pattern baldness. And a knee that was surgically repaired after I jumped out of a swing. When I was twenty-one. Thing is, most Americans acquire some sort of condition that could be "pre-existing" by the time they reach twenty or so years old. Even if it isn't sarcasm.
This new vision of health care, brought to you by the people who made sure they kept themselves covered while deciding just how the rest of us would make out in the big sweepstakes we call "health care." Interesting, since there doesn't seem to be a lot of "care" in it. Some of the folks in the House of Representatives didn't bother to read the legislation.
Like the list of ailments and conditions that won't be covered if this revamped and fresh piece of lawmaking breathes life after debate in the Senate:

Acne Acromegaly AIDS or ARC Alzheimer's Disease Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Anemia (Aplastic, Cooley's, Hemolytic, Mediterranean or Sickle Cell) Anxiety Aortic or Mitral Valve Stenosis Arteriosclerosis Arteritis Asbestosis Asthma Bipolar disease Cancer Cardiomyopathy Cerebral Palsy (infantile) Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease Cirrhosis of the Liver Coagulation Defects Congestive Heart Failure Cystic Fibrosis Demyelinating Disease Depression Dermatomyositis Diabetes Dialysis Esophageal Varicosities Friedreich's Ataxia Hepatitis (Type B, C or Chronic) Menstrual irregularities Multiple Sclerosis Muscular Dystrophy Myasthenia Gravis Obesity Organ transplants Paraplegia Parkinson's Disease Polycythemia Vera Pregnancy Psoriatic Arthritis Pulmonary Fibrosis Sarcoidosis Scleroderma Sex reassignment Sjogren's Syndrome Sleep apnea Transsexualism Tuberculosis

Way back when, Obamacare didn't add pregnancy to that list. Or PTSD. Rape survivors will have to worry about the potential STDs they might have acquired from their attack. If you could simply live your life like a middle-aged man, you shouldn't have a problem. Of course, I'm being sarcastic here. My premiums are going to be through the roof.