Here's The Pitch

So much of what happens currently in and around Washington D.C. no longer comes as a surprise. Take for example the near daily harangues disguised as "press briefings" offered up by Sean "Spicy Spice" Spicer. American Urban Radio Networks journalist April Ryan asked the press secretary about connections between the Trump administration and Russia. When she pushed for clarification, Spicy told the reporter to “stop shaking your head.” Then he went on: “If the president puts Russian salad dressing on his salad tonight, somehow that’s a Russian connection. The facts are that every single person who has been briefed on this subject has come away with the same conclusion. … I’m sorry that that disgusts you. You’re shaking your head, I appreciate it.”
Sean, bubbie, we're all shaking our heads. 
Down the hall, in the office so infrequently used by the current occupant that Fox News chose to make an onscreen alert about it, the "President" is making plans for Opening Day. The ceremonial start to the spring, the first day of baseball and rather than throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals' home opener, Spicy's boss will be somewhere else. A tradition that would have been one hundred seven years old comes to a screeching halt because of a scheduling conflict. The "President" is a busy man, after all. Barack Obama found the time. But we all know what a time-waster he was, and how he spent more time working on his jump shot than his fastball. No stranger to baseball himself, George W. Bush took his front office skills out to the ballgame and tossed the pea over the plate to remind us all what America's past time is. His dad's form might have used a little work, but from a wheelchair he found his way to a stadium to participate. 
I don't expect that Donald "Absolutely No Fun At All" Trump is worried about his sports acumen. I believe that a man who is afraid of stairs should probably avoid situations that might put him in physical danger. Like going outside. Ever. In his attempt to make America great again, he may have lost track of what makes America great right now: Baseball, Apple Pie, and Chevrolet. 
And any sort of discernible sense of humor.