Sunday, November 09, 2014

Gross

What is gross? One hundred and forty-four of something. Twelve dozen. That's gross. It's also the total before taxes, but that starts to get a little opening things up for lots of discussion so we'll skip that for now. Just like I should probably skip the assertion made by Answers.com that there are nine totally "gross" things that most of us do without recognizing how "gross" they are. I suppose this could mean that we do them one hundred and forty-four times without thinking about it, but I think the Answers folks were aiming more at the "repulsive" rather than any fixed number.
First of all, why wouldn't I trust a web site called "Answers?" Wouldn't this be the repository of all knowledge known to our species? Mis or disinformation would not be allowed here, nor would there be anything as tawdry as "opinion." Opinion.com, by the way, is apparently a parked domain just waiting for someone to scoop it up and fill it with all the unsubstantiated hearsay and judgments that storage will allow. For now, however, we'll stick to the facts.
Answers tell us that one of the most awful things we can do to ourselves is to use a dirty makeup brush. "Dirty makeup brushes have the ability to cause pink eye, skin irritation and acne. If you share makeup, beware that makeup brushes have the ability to spread diseases like herpes." Okay, so you can pretty much scratch wearing eye makeup off my "things to do in a commune" list. Next they want us to know that letting dogs lick our faces is pretty horrible too, since that whole "dogs' mouths are much cleaner than our own" meme turns out to be less than completely accurate. I have a pretty solid recollection of some of the places my dog's mouth had visited, and I still periodically let her get away with a public display of affection. I tried not to get too Lucy Van Pelt about it. 
While we are on the subject of oral hygiene, it's also pretty awful to leave your toothbrush exposed to the elements. "Although you are unable to see it, every time you flush your toilet the contents spray in the air and land on the toothbrush." Great. Now I'm burdened with the image of a veritable Old Faithful in my bathroom, splattering any and all with the contents with every flush. Speaking of toilets, the folks at Answer.com would like us to know about a Kansas State University study that found that our backpacks are dirtier than your average toilet seat. After a dog has licked it. 
There are other terrible affronts to decency and cleanliness in this cybersnickety link, but I won't burden you with them now. I have to go and sanitize my keyboard.

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