Suburban Alchemy

The girl I marry should have a certain
something
In the case of Darren Stephens
or Major Anthony Nelson
Magic
Not the kind that will get me in trouble
with the boss
or my commanding officers
I don't want Ben Franklin
to appear in my living room
I don't want to battle some clown
with a scimitar
I just want to find
a parking place
Or to have my dog
come running home
Those are the kind of spells
my wife can cast
The kind of witchcraft
she practices
Keeps me guessing
which isn't all bad
And though sometimes
I roll my eyes
or rail at the heavens
But I know all will be well
by the end of the episode
Happy Birthday,
to my White Witch