Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Behavior Modification

I know you've seen those signs in the bathrooms of restaurants and public places where plumbing and private time is shared by customers and employees. If not, they say something like this: "Employees must wash hands before returning to work." It's not just good advice, it's the law. For some, it's an easy enough stricture to follow, especially as it connects to those who might be tempted to skip that all-important step in their ablutions. This is perhaps nowhere more closely felt than in the fast food industry. If your goal is to serve two to three customers in two to three minutes, and the line is backing up behind the counter and that kid they just hired didn't show up for his shift again, you might be tempted to rush out the door and back to work without making the time to do the one thing that would make us all healthy and safe. It's just common sense, after all.
Employees must breathe in and out.
Employees must obey the laws of physics.
Employees must not commit adultery.
Employees must not talk to strangers.
Employees must chew food thirty-two times before swallowing.
Employees must avoid posting spoilers on public forums.
Employees must consult the oracle when King Leonidas is away.
Employees must keep out of reach of children.
Employees must write their name legibly on the upper right hand corner.
Employees must submit to background checks.
And then you have that moment, when you're standing in front of the sink and you're just sick and tired of being kept down by the man. Wait. Think about it. Take some pencils home. Don't write down that extra Pepsi you had on break. Just wash your hands, please.

1 comment:

  1. I must not be an employee. My request to view the man was denied. Oops, must have been fired when I hugged that kid.

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