What Works?

Okay, the smoke has cleared. We don't even have the distraction of the Pro Bowl to blind us to the fact that it will be six long months before we can comfortably plant our potato backsides in front of competitive football. It's time for a reckoning. Starting with the fool who called in to the radio station I was listening to the morning after the Super Bowl to suggest that Budweiser should spend half of their advertising budget on making a better beer. I didn't have the time then, but what I would have asked that person what province in Canada they lived. All Americans know the answer: What makes Budweiser the King of Beers is the fact that it tastes faintly like the byproduct of those iconic Clydesdales, but remains the most popular brew in the country, in spite of the recent influx of "better tasting" beers from around the world.
As opposed to Starkist tuna, we don't necessarily want things to taste good. As a matter of fact, we don't even care that much about their relative good taste when it comes to aesthetics. One need only watch a quarter of the big game to gather the importance of corn chips and pickup trucks to our culture. One might even come away from the experience believing that taste of any kind is optional. Whether we are selling hybrid cars or Internet naming services, the important thing is that you come away with an image. That faint ringing sensation you have in your head, days after the presentation of the Lombardi trophy, is not the after-effects of a Black Eyed Peas halftime show or the oddly truncated Aguilera version of our National Anthem. It is the mindworm that is slowly gnawing its way to your cerebral cortex with a message that sounds not at all faintly like, "buybuybuy."
And so that is what the next six months will be about. It's time to get off the couch for another six months of stimulating the economy, with short breaks for the draft and the rookie combine. Now it's time for an ice cold Bud. I don't drink them anymore, but I can't resist this insane urge to buy the stuff by the case.