Peaceable Kingdom

Suze Orman still scares me. I believe if I ever saw her blink, some of that terror might dissipate, but at least I know where I stand with her: cowering behind the nearest large object. I still don't know what my true feelings are about Oprah, however. Her enigmatic presence is too much for me to bear at times. Is there a more generous soul on the face of the planet? Is there any better example of self-promotion than Ms. Winfrey? Should I close my eyes to the way her name appears on all manner of media and merchandise? She built homes for sixty-five families displaced by Hurricane Katrina. She put her name on a leadership academy for girls in South Africa. She tells us what to read. No longer content to simply have her own television show, she went and generated a whole network unto herself, so once you stop reading you can start watching.
Then there's the doctors: Phil and Oz. Given a special place in the video firmament, these fellows are happy to dispense advice about how you should live your life. Doctor Phil wants us to "get real," while his colleague Doctor Oz reveals flatulent foods and anti-aging secrets. They just want to save us from ourselves, after all. And who else shows up as one of Oprah's special angels? Why Suze Orman, of course. I could avoid all manner of physical, emotional and financial suffering if I would just submit to the Power of Oprah.
Then again, Ted Turner started his own television network, and I never felt compelled to follow any of his advice. Nor do I find much solace in the wisdom of Rupert Murdoch. Building a media empire is a big job, and if there is a way to do it in a kinder, gentler way, I'm sure that Oprah will do it. Just don't expect me to tune when Suze's on, staring back at me, not blinking.