Had To Bail

It's not the concept that I'm having trouble with. It's the semantics. Every morning when I listen to the news I hear another discussion of "this-or-that bailout." A nation founded on the principles of pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps is now bending over backwards to prop up its tired old institutions and corporations. Unlike many of the people who ran for president recently and lost, I don't mind a little socialism in my democracy. I'm just wondering why we have to make such a vibrant point of it.
Let's start with the visceral image of "bailout." That's what you do to a sinking ship. The fear is in the air and the water is up around your knees. If you've got a bucket out, things have already reached a point of desperation. At best, you hope to limp on in to the dock and pull that thing out of the water to repair the hull. Or more likely, you're going to drop that bucket, grab your life jacket and hop the rail. Keep swimming or you might get dragged down when the whole thing gets sucked under.
Then there's the other vision of "bailout." The kind you do when your plane is plummeting toward the earth and the control stick has come off in your hand. Representatives including Democrats Gary Ackerman of New York and Bradley Sherman of California criticized the auto chiefs for taking private jets to Washington to plead their case.
"Couldn't you all have downgraded to first class?'' Ackerman said.
No, bailing isn't the American thing to do. Instead, one of the few things that President Pinhead got right was to call his cash giveaway "an economic stimulus package." Wealth was redistributed, and we felt invigorated. At least we weren't being handed a bucket. Or a golden parachute.