Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Late Late Show

Not far from my house is a Taco Bell that proudly announces the existence of a "Fourth Meal." This enticing news comes directly adjacent to another sign that alerts passersby to their extended hours: They are open until three in the morning Sunday through Thursday, and until four on Friday and Saturday. All the better to fit in that extra meal. Dreakfast? Brinner?
In my mind, I began to imagine the demographic for that particular feast. I encourage you, the reader to take a moment and consider this notion as well. Just who wanders in off the street at three or four in the morning, with a hankering for a Chalupa Supreme? I tried to create that special niche of a customer who has just finished his shift at the local hospital, or the long-haul truck driver who has just finished delivering vital supplies to the orphanage across the bay. These are the folks who deserve a Gordita Baja, and shouldn't have to wait until the sun comes up to get it.
Then there's the people who would really come in during those wee hours: The hungry drunk boys. These were the young fellows that I served in my tenure as closing manager at Arby's, just across the parking lot from a Taco Bell franchise. Back in those days, we closed at one in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays, but still had more than our share of late night fun. Most of the customer interactions after ten o'clock were field sobriety tests, and we spent as much time entertaining our inebriated guests as we did serving them food. My crew and I took special pride in the fact that we were able to sell more Holly Days glasses during our shift than the lunch and dinner crew combined. I like to think that it had to do with our special gift for sales, or maybe it was just easier to buy the glasses than to listen to us continue to badger these already befuddled creatures of the night with claims that in the event of nuclear war these gold-rimmed chalices could be used as currency.
I have no idea what they're selling at Taco Bell at three in the morning, but to keep me up past three in the morning, I better get something besides a bag full of soft tacos and a Pepsi.

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