I Was Told There Would Be No Math

Peabody here: Kids, let's set the Way-Back Machine for minus ten years and head back just one decade shall we? Ready, Sherman?
The president said lawmakers must resist the temptation to "squander" that money. "In this election year, some now want to raid the surplus for initiatives instead of preserving every penny of the surplus until we strengthen Social Security. Let me clear: I will oppose any budget that fails to set aside the surpluses until we have strengthened Social Security for the 21st century." New White House budget figures that project a surplus of thirty nine billion dollars for fiscal year 1998, and a one hundred fifty billion dollar surplus over the next five years.
For those of you who are a little hazy about life before Pinhead, the president way back then was the husband of that cute little gal who was running for the office this year, remember? His name was Clinton, too.
And so now, because we have yet to convert the Way-Back Machine to a hybrid, we have to come back to the present, where falling government revenues amid a slowing economy, coupled with increased federal spending, will result in a U.S. budget deficit this year of around four hundred billion dollars. Just a reminder, that "billion" is the one with nine zeros. Maybe we haven't all gone out and spent our economic stimulus checks yet. Maybe the housing bubble is about to burst. Maybe the cost of fertilizer for all our flowering democracies in the Middle East is turning out to be more expensive than we had anticipated.
Before you get all excited and decide to pack your bags and head back to the past for good, remember that any fluctuation in the time-space continuum could result in disastrous effects. Sure, you might be able to go back to a time when gas was a dollar-something a gallon, and the president lied about sex, but the slightest fluctuation could change history forever. What if the fabric of time was ripped, and there was no "King of Queens?" Is that really worth four hundred billion dollars?
I thought so.