Conservatively Compassionate

Chicago Sun-Times columnist Robert Novak says he is suspending his journalistic work for an indefinite, "but God willing, not too lengthy period." His statement did not say if the tumor was malignant. I can't imagine that anything that might be found in or around Mister Novak would be anything but malignant.
On April 27, 1972 Novak reported in a column that an unnamed Democratic senator had talked to him about McGovern. "The people don’t know McGovern is for amnesty, abortion and legalization of pot," the Senator said. "Once middle America - Catholic middle America, in particular - finds this out, he’s dead." The label stuck and McGovern became known as the candidate of "amnesty, abortion and acid."
In 2002, Novak's attitudes towards animal welfare came under scrutiny when he stated in an interview that he attended a cockfight in Puerto Rico and "relished it tremendously", adding that the United States has "too damn many" anti-cruelty statutes. He also expressed his avid support of dog fighting and bullfighting.
In 2005, he left CNN after twenty-five years after an on-air dustup that ended up with Mister Novak throwing down his microphone and storming off the stage. And where do you suppose he reappeared just a few months later? On Fox "We Report, You Deride" News as a "news contributor."
If it was their intent to acquire a maker of news, then they got their money's worth. Novak was the first to publicly reveal the name of CIA operative Valerie Plame. "Scooter" Until his sentence was commuted by his Pinhead Boss, "Scooter" Libby went to jail for being one of the few government officials to be caught spilling the covert beans about Ms. Plame's identity. Bob Novak used the opportunity to switch networks.
Just a few days ago, Novak was cited by police after he hit a sixty-six year old pedestrian with his black Corvette in downtown Washington, D.C. Bob told reporters, "He's not dead, that's the main thing." Mister Novak was chased down and stopped by a witness on a bicycle who caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. According to an item in The Washington Post’s Reliable Source column, Novak explained away a prior near-miss with a pedestrian: "He was crossing on the red light. I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don't run the country, all I can do is yell at 'em. The other option is to run 'em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that." Two years later, the same column reported that Novak had gone to a racing school in Florida. "I've wanted to be a racecar driver all my life, and anyone who has watched me drive can tell you that,” Novak said.
Maybe now that he has a brain tumor, someone at the Make-A-Wish Foundation can make that dream come true. Until then, let's all enjoy the quiet of Robert Novak's absence.