Researchers say they have discovered groups of silver-haired macaque monkeys in Indonesia that fish. The reason I mention this, aside from the obvious and profound anthropological impact this will have for years to come, is to share the overwhelmingly amusing image I was able to summon upon reading the first few lines of the story.
Of course, the story goes on to describe how groups of long-tailed macaques were observed four times over the past eight years scooping up small fish with their hands and eating them along rivers in East Kalimantan and North Sumatra provinces. But that's not what I imagined. I pictured a group of slightly overweight monkeys in flannel shirts, leaning up against the trunks of trees, each with a can of beer propped on or near their ample bellies. They're drinking Meister Brau. A couple of them are dozing, as witnessed by the bill of their caps pulled down over their eyes. The rest are simply staring out onto the lake, watching the bobbers at the end of their lines float lazily in the afternoon sun.
Fishing monkeys don't talk much, but if they did, I suspect it would sound something like this:
"Catch anything?"
"Nope. Not yet."
"Whatcha usin'?"
"Nightcrawler."
"Ever use one o' them electronic deals?"
"Nope."
And then there are profound silences as the sun sinks slowly into the west, and the beer gets warm. That's what I think of when I think of monkeys fishing. Agustin Fuentes, a University of Notre Dame anthropology professor who studies long-tailed macaques, said he was "heartened" to see the finding published because such details can offer insight into the "complexity of these animals." Not in my world, Agustin.
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