It started yesterday when I asked our vice principal to check to see if her Internet connection was live. This is what she told me: "Tom Cruise and Cher used to date." I was briefly befuddled by this non-sequitur, until she added, "That's what the front page of the SF Gate is telling me." And suddenly it was all clear to me: Even though this tryst took place twenty-two years ago, it is precisely the kind of news that fills Al Gore's Internet.
I understand, since most of my news comes from Google or Yahoo or whatever home page someone has carefully selected to filter their world view. I confess that I will generally look at the headlines, pop down for some sports, and then finish off my reality check with a little entertainment. If I only have a few minutes, I will only get to the "most popular" section. This gives me a shot at appearing conversational when adults are talking. Just a few megabytes of information, please, I'm not hoping to become an expert.
Most of these items detail celebrity couplings or uncouplings. "Country singer Mindy McCready confirms that she had a long-term affair with pitcher Roger Clemens." The "yuck" factor? She was fifteen at the time. He was a married father of two. Yuck. Then there's Barbara Walters, who now says she had a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as "exciting" and "brilliant." Married guy and Barbara Walters. Double yuck.
And so it goes with the borderline thrilling world of infotainment. There are still plenty of substantive discussions to have about peace in the Middle East and the crisis in Darfur, but right now I've got to find out more about why Miley Cyrus skipped a scheduled red carpet event at Disney World.
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