Sobering Thought

According to a government report, fifteen percent of adult drivers nationally report driving under the influence of alcohol in the previous year. Does that seem low? It did to me. Up in Wisconsin, the average is more like one in four. That sounds a little more accurate. Maybe the folks in the land of a thousand lakes is just a little more honest than the rest of the country. Either that or they were drunk at the time they were taking the survey.
It got me to thinking about the sad but true number of times I had gotten behind the wheel when I had no earthly right. I can remember when I felt it was a testament to my manhood that I could operate a motor vehicle while intoxicated. I used to pride myself on this skill. Many was the time that I loaded up my metallic blue VW Bug and drove a carload of inebriated individuals from one drinking establishment to another. When that was over, I drove them all back to my place, where we drank some more.
In hindsight, I suppose I was doing the planet a favor by ending the evening at home, where the hearty souls who lasted that long could pass out on my couch and not press the edge of that particular envelope. But when I think of the number of times I drove drunk, it must certainly have skewed the data for others. What are the chances that I could have driven drunk for the better part of a decade, mostly on the weekends, and never wound up in jail? I know people who have had the misfortune of running into a sobriety checkpoint after a glass of wine. That wasn't me. I was the one pounding down the beer and then roaring across town to get to the liquor store before it closed.
And yet, here I sit, all in one piece, with nary an arrest on my permanent record. Do I feel embarrassed today? Sometimes. Mostly I feel incredibly lucky, and glad that I don't live in Wisconsin. Those people are nuts.