A Dream Within A Dream

Paul McCartney and his wife, Heather Mills, are splitting up. I know this seems confounding, but it can all be blamed on the media. The couple said the constant attention had made "it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship." Said the former model and former Beatle. I wonder what either one of them had in mind when they were imagining this "normal relationship."
I've been married for a while now - long enough that it isn't cute anymore to try and figure out which arbitrary gift we are supposed to give each other to mark the passing year. I think we're about to have our "pocket lint" anniversary. Pocket lint aside, I wonder if it would be appropriate to blame the media for the relative success of our marriage, since it seems to be quite normal. We laugh at each other's jokes, and we try not to bring our daily stress back to the dinner table. Sometimes I wish that she would clean the hair out of the drain when she's finished with a shower (it's been an awfully long time since that was my fault). She periodically becomes agitated at the plodding and methodical pace of my life. We have different styles, different modes of operation. She's from Venus. I'm from Mars. Or at least that's what the book she made me read says. We make money and we spend it. We make food and we eat it. We make love and we fall asleep. I'm sure the media would only mess that up.
Here's a little reminder for Paul: You were married to Linda for twenty-nine years, until death did you part. That's an extraordinarily tough act to follow. A friend of mine finalized his divorce this week after separating several years before. They didn't want to rush into the whole divorce thing. The magic was that they got along better, became world-class parents, and stayed clear of public spectacle. The whole lawyer thing was merely an afterthought.
Every so often, when marriage is chafing like a pair of new shorts, I reflect on just how ridiculous it is to maintain a relationship. It takes tremendous effort to move through life in tandem. The slightest variation can send the whole contraption whirling into chaos. Alone you only have yourself to rely on or to blame. As slimy divorce lawyer (too redundant?) Gavin D'Amato in the film "War of the Roses," Danny DeVito suggests "If love is blind, getting married is like having a stroke." This would be highly ironic coming from Mr. DeVito, who maintains a marriage of twenty-four years (he and Rhea Pearlman have lived together since 1970). Maybe it's not the press at all. Maybe it's just incredibly different to do the wedding dance for every human being. Cranes and beavers and wolves and hundreds of other species all mate for life. Perhaps not this particular Beatle.