Picture This

Oh to be young and in Amsterdam this time of year. Scientists at the University of Amsterdam have used all sorts of nifty and expensive new "emotion recognition" software (developed in collaboration with the University of Illinois) to determine the mood of Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa."
Their earth-shaking discovery? Apparently she was smiling "because she was happy." The specifics are this: She was eighty-three percent happy, nine percent disgusted, six percent fearful and two percent angry. She was less than one percent neutral, and not at all surprised. This last part is the most telling. She was not at all surprised. This might have something to do with the fact that she had to sit still for days at a time while the picture was painted. In 1503 there wasn't really such a thing as a "candid" portrait.
Harro Stokman, one of the Dutch researchers said, "Basically, it's like casting a spider web over the face to break it down into tiny segments. Then you look for minute differences in the flare of the nostril or depth of the wrinkles around the eyes." They were unable to detect the hint of sexual suggestion or disdain many have read into Mona Lisa's eyes. It doesn't do much to explain the rumor that the painting was actually a self-portrait of Leonardo himself as a woman. Perhaps they need to look more closely - I have always thought that she looked slightly dyspeptic.