Central Casting, Baghdad

"You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order!"
Someday, Al Pacino should have the chance to play Saddam Hussein as he goes to trial for his crimes against his own countrymen. Al would have just the right amount of regal bearing (think "Richard III") and psychosis (think of most of his roles after 1980).
Here in the United States, we love a good celebrity trial - whether it's Winona Ryder getting caught stealing sweaters, or OJ Simpson getting caught - well, not getting caught. In Iraq the Trial of the Century has just begun. Say what you want to about Saddam, he's got chutzpah. Take this exchange between himself and the presiding judge, Rizgar Mohammed Amin, to open the proceedings:
Amin: These are official matters, we have to hear from you your identity. These are formalities, so please.
Saddam: I don't have anything against any of you. But adhering to the truth and respecting the will of the great Iraqi people in choosing me, I say: I do not respond to this so-called court, with all due respect to its people, and I retain my constitutional right as the president of
Iraq.
Amin: These matters can be put off until later. This is not the place.
Saddam: Neither do I recognize the body that has designated and authorized you, nor the aggression. All that is built on a false basis is false."
(After repeatedly refusing to give his name, Saddam finally sits. Amin read his name for him, calling him the "former president of Iraq.")
Saddam: I said I'm the president of Iraq ... I did not say deposed.
Yeah, Saddam you go girl! Er, I mean, you go deposed former president of Iraq. Later, Saddam stood, smiling, and exchanged greetings with other defendants during a break in the proceedings. He then asked to step out of the room, but when two guards tried to grab his arms to escort him out, he angrily shook them off. The guards, wearing blue bulletproof vests, tried to grab him again, and Saddam struggled to free himself. Saddam and the guards shoved each other and yelled for about a minute. In the end, he was allowed to walk independently out of the room, with the two guards behind him.
He's more than just a little bit crazy, this guy - but he's still the head nut case in Iraq. Again, I return to the wit and wisdom of Al Pacino in "And Justice For All": "At this point, I would just like to say that what this committee is doing in theory is highly commendable. However, in practice, it sucks... and I'm not going to answer any more questions." It's a natural. I'm tellin' you.