"Dick"

 The fact that Dick "Dick" Cheney survived five heart attacks, the first of which occurred when he was just thirty-seven years old, suggests that he might have been in league with Satan. 

Or maybe he was, not unlike the Grinch, born with a heart that was two sizes too small. But whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, "Dick" has gone off at last to his final reward forty-seven years after his first cardiac episode. No one knows precisely what kept him alive for all those years, but a combination of medical science and the aforementioned contract with Lucifer seemed to do the trick. 

It was right here on this spot that I spent eight solid years imagining how this day might feel. I understand this makes me a bad person, and I am willing to take that distinction for the team. My team being the side that was against the war in Iraq. And Afghanistan. And wherever "terrorists" stood between us and the oil we so richly deserved. 

Did anyone point out that "Dick" was CEO of Halliburton before he slithered into the office of Vice President of the United States? How about the assertion, "No blood for oil?" A couple decades ago, there was a large swath of the American people who would have liked to see "Dick" put on trial for war crimes. 

No, really. 

Of course this was all in the distant past, before the circus came to town. The circus being the First Trumpreich, and the town was Washington DC. Suddenly the pinhead and his puppetmaster "Dick" didn't seem so bad. Keeping in mind of course that this had to be worse than a Vice President of the United States shooting his friend in the face. 

Somewhere in there, the Grinch got a press agent and decided that the best way for him to eventually find his way into Paradise was to come down hard on the New New World Order, the one brought to us by the former game show host. "Dick" said, "In our nation’s two hundred forty-six-year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump." 

Coming from "Dick," that's some pretty stark reality. 

Now "Dick" is gone, but the path he laid for those who followed still provides a roadmap to the present. I suppose you could say that he stomped on the Terra, but it's more correct to point out how many Americans he stepped on in his lust for glory. 

Aloha, "Dick."