Out

 One of the myriad of challenges of teaching games to young people with fragile egos is that of impressing on them the importance of a graceful exit. There is a great associated thrill in being able to climb the hill that leads to A square. Battling with your classmates all the way from the line, to D square, to C, then to B and at last: Valhalla. You have landed in A square. Now you control the game with everyone looking up to you and waiting for your serve. All it takes in Four Square is one extra bounce, a little slip, and then you're on your way to the back of the line. 

There are plenty of egos that can accept this kind of cycle. It is, after all, part of the game. The platitudes about sportsmanship are easy enough for most kids to handle. You win some, you lose some. It's just a game. You can't win 'em all. Which for most children is a simple enough lesson. The platitudes are unnecessary. 

But not for everyone. 

Some will cling to that chunk of asphalt in the same way they will hold on to their assertion that they were never tagged, never stepped out of bounds, never did anything that might mar their streak of success. Even when faced with the simple process of Ro Sham Bo, rock paper scissors, to decide the outcome of any dispute they insist that there is no reason for such a judgement. They did not lose. And if their peers surround them, waiting for resolution, if they pick rock and the other kid picks paper they will insist on doing the best two out of three. 

Sometimes I try and take the perspective of our kids who have this challenge. For many of them, being called out is a reminder of the place they spend so much of their lives: at the end of the line. Admitting to their classmates and the world that they are only as good as everyone else playing the game is a blow to their already fragile self esteem. Being the best at anything is a way to escape the struggle they face every day living so close to the edge of winning and losing. This might be their only escape from their circumstances, even if it's only for a recess or a PE class. 

By now, some of this might sound familiar to you. I would also like to champion those who understand that the game is more important than the arguments about the game. They take their place at the end of the line and look forward to their next chance. 

Joe Biden did that. Joe understood "out." He didn't like it, and if he had been left to his own devices he might have held on to the notion that he was in it to win it. But he didn't. He wasn't. He took his string of victories and a legacy of public service to the end of the line, where he could watch others compete secure in the notion that he had his time. Now it was time for another winner. 

As I said, not everyone understands this process. Instead they argue and dispute every moment, every decision. The game has to stop and wait for them. But not forever. 

Sooner or later, everyone gets out.