Discretion

 Full disclosure: I cannot name a single Justin Timberlake song. I am aware of his musical career, and his time in a boy band. Before that he was a Mouseketeer. I am primarily familiar with his appearance in the David Fincher film, Social Network, where he played the slimiest version of Napster creator, Sean Parker.

Generally speaking, I would say I have an overall appreciation for Mister Timberlake that leans positive. But his arrest for Driving While Intoxicated did give me pause. Like so many human beings, he was pulled over after leaving a friend's house in the early morning hours after having "just one martini." According to police accounts, Justin drove through a stop sign and failed to stay on the right side of the road. 

More full disclosure: I have failed to stop at a stop sign in the middle of a sunny day, without having a drop of anything that might impair my function. I just missed it. 

After being pulled over, Justin reportedly failed the field sobriety test. Shortly after this, he was heard to say, "This is going to ruin the tour." To this, the arresting officer asked, "What tour?" Justin replied, "The world tour."

Thus began a flurry of Internet Memes that lasted nearly four days. Just long enough for the arresting officer, Michael Atkinson to become a footnote to the Timberlake legend. It seems that Officer Atkinson, only three months into his career with the Sag Harbor PD has already got something of a reputation. Some might say it comes from being overzealous. Others might say he was just doing his job. One local described being pulled over by Atkinson after making an illegal U-turn: "It was off season, and no one was around. It was a d**khead move. I felt like he pulled me over just for the sake of doing it."

Continuing with the full disclosure: I was once pulled over on my bicycle on my way to work at my elementary school for rolling through a stop sign. I got a ticket. I paid the ticket. It did not make me happy. But then again, it did not threaten my world tour. 

So the very expensive lawyers in the hire of Mister Timberlake have this matter taken care of abruptly so that he can get on with his very important and expensive life. If this were Mayberry instead of Sag Harbor, my guess is that Sheriff Taylor would have to have a talk with Barney about being more charitable and forgiving when it comes to the folks like Danny Thomas driving through their neck of the woods. 

Or maybe if you're worried about your world tour, maybe you could call for a Lyft?