Exceptions

 A colleague of mine is the mother of three daughters, three year old twins and a five year old who has just started Kindergarten. She took a day off last week to chaperone the five year old's first field trip. The night before, her daughter looked a little sad. "What's the matter?" asked mom.

"I just wish my best friend could come along," she explained.

Mom didn't need to ask. She knew who her best friend was. Daddy was going to work. Her best friend. The chain of parental gut checks were set off. "I carried you in my body for nine months. I'm taking a day off my job to go on this field trip. I make lunches for you and your sisters every morning and tuck you into bed at night." And so on. She never said these things. She sighed and said, "I wish daddy could come along too." 

In a very different parental interaction, a fifth grader at our school was being sent home for a rage storm that flipped over desks and put several students in danger while cursing a blue streak. When his mother came to pick him up, our principal expressed her concern to the boy and his mother about the level of anger that streamed from this ten year old. "He gets it from his father," mom replied curtly. 

The fifth grade boy spun around and screamed at his mother, "I get it from you!" 

He stayed home on the same day that my colleague was off chaperoning her child's field trip. The boy's mom had to go to work, so he was left at home alone. 

And so the cycle continues. Love breeds more love. Anger breeds more anger. Finding a place to put adult burdens down to make room for children to discover their confusion and disappointments is not something everyone can do. The playing field has never been level. Being a parent is a full time job and then some. It takes an exceptional human being to make it work while looking after so many other lives. 

I am fortunate to work with so many exceptional human beings.