Out Of The Wilderness

 I was kicked out of the theater. 

It was a matinee, and my friend thought it would be a great idea to throw Milk Duds at Barbara Loomis and her friends who were seated a few rows in front of us. Let me just say from the start that if circumstances had been different, if I had Junior Mints instead of the aforementioned Milk Duds, things would have been much different. Who would waste Junior Mints on the back of Barbara Lommis' head?

After a few errant tosses, my friend connected. Though we were clever enough to hunch down in our seats, I'm sure our snickering gave our location away. Barbara jumped up, strode up the aisle, passing us in a huff. We figured for a moment that our duck and cover strategy had saved us. Then Barbara returned to our aisle. With the manager. We were not going to see the end of The Wilderness Family. The manager gave me, my friend and my little brother the hook. My poor little brother who really wanted to see what happened to Skip and his family. 

It did not occur to us then to argue or make a scene. We were caught, and that was that. We shared the rest of the Milk Duds as we sat on the curb and waited for my parents to come and pick us up. An hour later. 

I should also like to point out that I was thirteen at the time. I was also not a member of the United States House of Representatives.

Reports out of Denver this past Sunday indicate that Lauren Boebert, who is an adult and a sitting member of Congress, was escorted out of a performance of "Beetlejuice." Not the movie, the musical. Representative Lauren was asked to leave after being reminded during intermission that vaping, singing, recording and “causing a disturbance” during the performance could result in her ejection. According to Buell Theatre officials, Ms. Boebert and her companion did not heed the staff's warning, and were subsequently asked to leave the venue. 

The grandmother and State of the Union heckler did not go quietly unto that good night. She flipped off security and let fly with the standard “stuff like ‘do you know who I am,’ ‘I am on the board’ (and) ‘I will be contacting the mayor.’ ” Like so much of Ms. Boebert's behavior, these events were captured on security video. 

The good news? No Milk Duds were harmed this past weekend. No comment from Barbara Loomis as yet.