Future Tense

 Sitting on the edge of the bed, as I often do after exercise, staring slack-jawed at the television I noticed that I was watching commercials. It took a moment for me to register that I was watching commercial television with ads interspersed throughout the programming day and that since I was home on a weekday the number of ads between bits of show were maximized. There were half a dozen spots for this and that product or service squeezed into the time that it took me to get ready to hop into the shower. 

Once I lurched from my zombified position in front of the screen, I made a mental note that I had seen not one, not two, but three different commercials for three separate fast food outfits that were interested in selling me their chicken sandwich. One of these chains is named for a video game hedgehog. Another has an air of royalty to it, and the third rhymes with "Smopeye's." And it occurred to me that maybe this was fast food making a big wide turn away from serving hamburgers.

Beef. 

As if somewhere in the haze of delirium for fast food, America is being asked to eat more chicken. The folks at Chick-Fil-A could not be more excited. Especially since they seem to be slipping into the "woke fast food" category, along with McD's and all those other companies that insist on selling their meaty treats to anyone capable of getting their money over the counter. Is it possible to be socially responsible and still serve food in paper wrappers? This all started when Big Macs stopped being sold in those Styrofoam boxes. And paper straws? Don't get me started.

But I tried to imagine a future when I showed up to that aforementioned counter and hamburgers as we knew them are no longer an option. Would I eat a chicken sandwich if it helped save the planet? How about a vegetable-based patty of some sort? 

Here's the truth: On our trip to Oregon, we did stop at a vegetarian fast food restaurant. No beef. No chicken. I ate my "Amy Burger" with all that extra lettuce and special sauce on a toasted bun and suffered no allergic reaction. Suddenly my vision of the future was just a little less Soylent Green and a little more Muppet Movie. Waiting for the moment I see my first commercial for Amy's Drive Thru.