Listen

So, if we were to take the defense arguments from all the mass shootings in America and ball them up into an easily digestible pill, it would taste just like toxic masculinity. 

"I was being bullied constantly." 

"She wouldn't go out with me."

"It was the voices in my head." 

Let's start with that first one: I was myself bullied for quite a long time. Physically and emotionally beaten down by kids in my neighborhood and at school. Round kids with glasses and a penchant for sensitivity opens the door for such experiences. I found myself, at times, filled with rage and no place to take it. In high school, I watched as my friends began to pair off with girlfriends and social lives that took them beyond the Atari parties in my parents' basement. 

I was very fortunate that one of the voices in my head was my mother. She helped me understand that all of these experiences were bringing me closer to the person I was destined to be. In spite of many outbursts, she kept her faith in me. This allowed me to have some hope. I loved my mother, and I knew she loved me. 

There were no guns in my house. I do not know if that part of the equation would have changed anything in my case, but I shudder to think what might have transpired in those darkest of moments had I had access to a machine that would help me "solve" my problems. Instead, I was given tools, and patience and time to sort things out. As odd as I ever though I was, it turns out that on a spectrum I was quite normal and all those bullies and voices in my head were challenges that I cold overcome. 

With help. 

Where is that help for the kid without a mother at home to help keep him out of the ruts? When your mother sits down and listens to the music you're playing and finds something interesting in it to share, it's hard to maintain that isolation. When you have a real friend or two that will tell you that they are worried about you and throw you a line. When you have a light at the end of the dark road that we all travel sometimes, taking another step in the right direction becomes easier. Forgive. Forget. Move on. 

Buying into the macho notion that anyone deserves to die is too easy. Pulling the trigger isn't brave. It's surrender. The line between murder and self-defense has become blurred to an impossible degree. We need more emotional self-defense. Psychic jujitsu. In a life full of tomorrows, don't sacrifice the chance of a better one.