Our Day Will Come

 Today is "Please For The Love Of God Buy Something Tuesday." It comes right after Cyber Monday and in the wake of Black Friday and Small Business Saturday and National Second Hand Sunday. If you haven't bought something in the past ninety-six hours, what is wrong with you? 

Do you want the socialists to win? 

Or Antifa? 

Or whoever resides currently in under the bed of capitalists late at night when the stores are closed and the wifi is out. 

All that inflation that we keep hearing about shouldn't stop you either. Everyone knows that the best way to keep prices down is to spend money. This is America, after all. First we gorge ourselves, watch a little football, have some pie and then spend the next three weeks and change saving the country's economy. 

Do your part!

In the interest of transparency, I confess that my wife and I raced out with our California Middle Class tax rebate and shopped for a new refrigerator. After spending all this time cooped up and with the memories of a toilet paper shortage still fresh in our minds from two years ago, we went to three different stores, walking through aisles of appliances that would do the job our old fridge was doing back home. Only better. In stainless steel. We compared and we investigated, and if they had tires, we would have kicked them because we were both entranced with the idea of owning a new refrigerator.

But we came home empty handed. We failed in our consumer mission. We decided to hold on to our money, with the notion that we might happen across a scratched or dented machine that would end up saving us more money than we might spend. 

And make crushed ice. 

Thanksgiving came and went, and our old refrigerator bore up under the strain of all those leftovers and we felt bad about sneaking around behind its back while it stood there in the kitchen, keeping things chill for us as it has for lo these many moons. All those voices, hideous insistent voices, urging us to spend, spend, spend. 

I'm holding out for "C'mon Dave, It's Never Too Late To Burn Through Some Cash Wednesday."