Queen Slate

 What can you say about a ninety-six year old monarch who died?

Well, as it turns out, quite a lot. When QEII passed away this past week the outpouring of sentiment was impressive to say the least. The overwhelming response was thoughtful and contemplative. As monarchs go, Queen Elizabeth came in a close second to Louis XIV of France in terms of the long haul. Louis reigned for seventy-two years. The Queen racked up seventy years on the throne. 

A couple things before we go on: I confess that my own feelings about the British Royal Family are at best ambivalent. The fact that we have, for seventy years, referred to King George IV's little girl as "The Queen" gives me pause. It reminds me of a time when I first moved to Oakland and one evening my wife told me that we were going into "The City." I was under the impression that Oakland was a city. She meant San Francisco, which somehow assumed a higher echelon. There have been, historically, a great many queens. There are forty-two other monarchies scattered around the world aside from the one found in Buckingham Palace. Maybe the trick is having a good publicist. 

Or having Helen Mirren play you on screen. Or have a Netflix series that documents the ages of your reign. Or have Canada put your face on one side of a coin, with the other given to a beaver. 

All of this is a remnant of the last of the old-school empires. Colonialism never looked so posh as when the Royal Family showed up to put a photo op together. All that nasty business with Lady Di? Let's not keep turning over stones, shall we? 

Then there's this: Queen Elizabeth was pulling down twenty-six to fifty million dollars a year for her services, tax free, depending on which sources you might choose to believe. This is not chump change. This is monarchy money. Meanwhile, the realm continues to search for someone new to play the Prime Minister, whose salary comes in just below two hundred thousand dollars a year. A nice gig to be sure, but not quite princely. 

So now that the Queen is dead, her little boy Charles is going to get his shot at ruling. Knighting folks and christening ships and so forth. At seventy-three years old, he finally has a job. Long live The King. Unless you're talking about Elvis, because he's already dead.

Or is he?